Were you spanked as a kid?

By scarfearly47

I keep wondering how normal that was, like how many people actually grew up with spanking. And what age range are we talking for you? A few of my mom friends and I are older-ish parents, early to mid 30s, and spanking came up today. I know one of them will occasionally smack her 2-year-old on the butt. I don’t agree with it, and I’ve never done that with my kid. But all three of them told me they got the belt multiple times growing up. My husband says the same thing happened to him, and my sister-in-law too. It feels like you see it all the time online too. That’s what honestly throws me off—none of that was part of my house. And the weird part is they all still genuinely love their parents and say they “deserved” it. My mom is still totally against corporal punishment. She was a teacher for most of my life and then a school counselor later, and she’s really stuck with the idea that stuff like that messes with self-esteem and can lead to more aggression (especially once research started coming out in the 80s). My husband doesn’t spank our son, and I wouldn’t ever be okay with it. But it seems like most of them do, at least some of the time. Like my brother never hits his kids, but my sister-in-law has—more like smacking hands or butts. I asked him about it and he said he doesn’t love it, but he can’t really control her parenting since it’s not “true” abuse. It just kind of shocked me because for me, it wasn’t really a thing I grew up around. Even in the 90s it felt like people talked about it like it was old-fashioned and ineffective—more like something from the 50s, not something people still did. I also can’t remember any of my friends getting smacked around. Maybe it just happened more privately, but still… I didn’t realize how common it apparently is. Update: I’ve read through all the comments from people who talked about what it was like growing up with abuse from the people who were supposed to love them. I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve that, and it hurts my heart. I can’t reply to everyone, but I read what you said and I care. I’m honestly so proud of everyone who went through it and still chose to break the cycle with their own kids. I can’t imagine how hard that is.